I believe it as we get our very first learning from our parents. What they do, what they think will deeply influence our mindset and thinking and our ways of handling issues. Of course, we can't deny that further development of the kid and environmental issue play their role as well. However, what I want to emphasize here is the first point mentioned above.
I heard of a story, a teen's father has abused her mother since she was young. When she grows up, she wishes to find a nice husband who is totally different to her father. She thought she found. Unfortunaly, her prince charming is exactly same as her father. You may wonder, well, it is coincidence. Perhaps, it may be. But, what I heard of is, unconsciously, kid will find a guy/girl who is alike to his/her parents to be his/her spouse.
It tells how strong is the impact of our parents to us.
Share with you my own story:
Since I was young, my father always telling us, never ever say sorry! It is useless.
Don't misunderstand my father first, let's move on.
He told us,
"Apologize is useless after you did something wrong or bad (as you hurt the other(s))"
His concept is:
- You know its consequence, but you still make the decision, so Why apologize? It is fake or called "deliberate".
- You do not know its consequence, but you still make the decision. Then what is the point to apologize? Like what he always says, "what don't you ask first? what's the use of your mouth?"
- In the end, you know you did hurt other(s) then you apologize. It is useless and meaningless because the consequence (hurt or damage) exists.
Be thoughtful, that is what my father teaching us.
See, how strict and correct he is!Ya, I learn from him. And I adopted his learning wholly. When I was young, I never say sorry. Sounds bad, isn't it? Don't misunderstand me, ha-ha... Not because I am rude or stubborn, it is simply because I never ever do a very wrong/bad thing to others. (Social interaction such as joking is not counted ok?)
I myself feel nothing wrong to his teaching. Moreover, I feel grateful to have my parents. They give me the best teaching of being a good person/human being. I would not say that they are perfect, but they did tell me what is our limit and what is our duty. From them, I know the words of benevolence, kind, forgive, generous, humor and more and more. And I would not say that I am perfect under their teaching. Like I mentioned earlier, further development of the kid and environmental issue matter as well. Sounds like I am very bad? Hm, I am not. Ha-ha...
So, bear in mind, before you want to apologize, why don't you think carefully and then make your decision with a thoughtful mind? Then the ending will be a beautiful scene: everyone is happy, you do not feel sorry, result of your decision may be perfect as well.
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It sounds great above, right? Ironically, in this real world, it does not work. Even myself, I need to say sorry to my family for my impatience, sometimes. To my friends, so far, I think I am nice to them especially girls. :p However, some of them betrayed my trust (pathetic, isn't it? we can never expect people as same as us since we are from different family background). However, it would not affect my ability of trust.
note: when I am writing this post, my mood is superb good. So this post is just a sudden thought to my dad, not referring to anyone but using a current issue only. So just enjoy my post. Cheers.